Headstone

For those of you who don’t know, I am an artist. As such I had the very special opportunity to design Kyden’s headstone with input from Scott. I wanted to share the symbolism behind our design.

The day before we found out Kyden’s heart had stopped beating, Scott and I were attending our church Stake Conference. Seeing as it was December, it was a musical conference, so many Christmas songs were sung. One of the last songs on the program was “Silent Night”. When we sang the line “Sleep in Heavenly Peace” I had a gentle impression on my mind that I needed to put that on Kyden’s headstone. I felt many emotions as this thought entered my mind, both of peace and sadness. But I felt, and Scott later agreed, the line fit perfectly for our little boy.  

  

We believe that although Kyden has passed on, someday we’ll see our son again. This is not the end – which is why we prefer to say he was “born sleeping” as opposed to “stillborn” as we feel it’s a more accurate description of Kyden’s birth. He is sleeping now, but someday he will awaken and be reunited with us. Death is not the end for any of us. And until the time we meet again, he’s safe in God’s arms.

 This is the detailed version.

 I had to simplify things in order for the engraving to work.

 This is his actual headstone.

We chose the lamb for several reasons. In the hospital we received a stuffed lamb in the kit of keepsakes provided by the hospital. I’d wanted an animal to represent Kyden for quite some time but hadn’t been able to come up with anything. But when my mom pointed the lamb out to me I just thought, “How perfect!” The lamb first of all, reminded me of my Savior, The Lamb of God. It also reminded me how the Savior is compared to a shepherd, watching over us, his flock. He truly had watched over Scott and I and our precious little boy throughout our ordeal. Because Kyden was born during the Christmas season, it brought to mind the birth of our Savior, in a stable with the animals nearby and the wool used to help keep him warm. I thought of the shepherds who were told by an Angel of the Savior’s birth and came to honor him. And I thought of purity, innocence, peace, gentleness and love. What better animal to represent my son than a lamb? The lamb is sleeping because Kyden is sleeping and I added the wings and halo to represent that he is an angel right now. Our little sleeping Angel Lamb.

And the clouds and stars represent heaven. Because we believe he is in heaven now. I’m sure he’s busy up there, awaiting the day of our reunion as anxiously as Scott and I are!