Scott and I went to Larkin Memorial with Kaelyn, Scott’s mom, to choose a plot for Kyden. It was difficult, but we found a beautiful spot for him, only a few yards from a statue of Christ with two children. Its near some trees and close to the road, so we’d have easy access whenever we wanted to visit him. After we’d chosen a spot, Scott and I used the rest of the day to organize a small funeral service for Kyden and to have everything ready for the following day. We’d decided to hold Kyden’s funeral on Tuesday the 13th as it fit everyone’s schedule the best.
Tuesday December 13, 2011
Scott and I arrived early at Larkin. We wanted to take the opportunity to see Kyden before everyone arrived, as we decided to do a closed casket service. The mortician who embalmed Kyden told us of his condition, so we were aware and he talked to us for a little bit. Then he opened the small casket to reveal our son one last time, and left Scott and I alone.
I was actually surprised at how peaceful and wonderful Kyden looked after going through an autopsy, especially because of how fragile he was to begin with. Scott and I stood there in silence, just gazing upon his face. It was only for a couple of minutes, but those moments will stay with me forever.
When I was still in the hospital, Scott and I realized we needed to figure out what we wanted to bury Kyden in. Because of his various deformities and not knowing what condition he'd be in after his autopsy, we decided to buy a white blanket and swaddle him in it. So Scott went to buy one as well as some kind of stuffed toy to bury with him. As we stood looking upon his body laying in his tiny little casket, I knew we'd made the right choice. He looked so...comfortable, swaddled in the blanket that Scott bought for him. It was perfect. Like he really was just sleeping. The hospital had given us a matching set of bracelets - one for me, one for Kyden. I wore mine that day and the mortician had placed Kyden's upon his tiny little wrist for us. He also had a blue bow pinned to the front of his blanket that matched a jewel on my bracelet.
As previously mentioned, when Scott went to find the blanket I asked him to find a stuffed toy we could bury with Kyden. I was hoping he'd be able to find a stuffed lamb, since that was the animal we'd decided on to represent Kyden. Well, Scott was amazing and found a blue, sleeping lamb. Absolutely PERFECT. He actually bought two lambs - one for Kyden and one for us - so we'll always have matching lambs. We placed Kyden's lamb inside his casket and after we said goodbye again, we had the mortician come and close the casket for the final time.
The service was absolutely beautiful. Family and friends came to offer their love and support. Our Bishop conducted and his wife played the music for us and they both did such a wonderful job. Scott, myself, my grandparents and my aunt bore testimonies. Koltyr and one of his friends sang a song, while another of his friends played the piano and it was beautiful. I asked them to sing “A Child’s Prayer”, as its one of my favorites. The service was incredibly difficult, but beautiful and peaceful at the same time. It was definitely a new experience I believe for most everyone that attended, but I hope it was mostly positive (all things considered).
After we held a service inside, Scott and I along with our parents and Steph were driven to the gravesite in the limo. Scott was the sole pallbearer, holding Kyden’s casket in his lap. The rest of our family met us out by the gravesite.
It was quite chilly out. The clouds were gray, and a very light snow was falling. There was a thin layer of snow blanketing the ground and the trees. It made it feel very peaceful, rather than gloomy, and a lot of people later commented on how beautiful it was. I have to agree.
This was taken by my visiting teacher, Emily. Its so beautiful!
Randy, Scott’s dad, dedicated the gravesite. It was short and wonderful. We didn’t remain outside too long because of the cold. But Scott and I got a couple of pictures taken, we gave lots of hugs and said many thank you’s. Scott and I said a final goodbye to Kyden. The next time we’d visit he’d be beneath the ground.
All of the flowers we received. They're gorgeous and made our kitchen smell amazing! I dried most of them too.
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